Posts Tagged ‘Stories’

Old Man Word 92: Reader

98.4% of the populace defines a story as a “fictional narrative recounting a series of people and events” and readers as “persons who read.”   The remaining 1.6% are old people.  Old people think “stories” are daytime television shows that overuse the word hope.  I’ll cover that mumbo at a later date.  This post is all about the old timers’ infuriating use of the word “readers:”

Readers. n.

1.  One who reads.
2.  Generic name for the Dr. Dean Edell brand ‘reading glasses’ sold by Rite-Aid.

Two issues.

First, don’t buy medical devices at a store called “Rite-Aid.”  The word that sounds like “right” can be spelled three ways: right, write, and rite.  Right means correct.  Write means to pen or author.  Rite means a ceremony or a series of acts.  The final spelling — the one they used — only makes sense if they’re marketing to a cult that worships Russell-Stover mallow treats and Weanie Babies.

(Actually … it does make sense).

Second, props to Doc. Dean but he’s not an ophthalmologist.  I haven’t been to medical school but I’m purtty sure they don’t teach the delicate skills necessary to grind lenses.  Maybe it’s a pastime of his, what do I know.


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